A HUMOROUS GUIDE TO REAL ESTATE LISTING TERMS

There are many phrases that agents use in listing descriptions whose meanings may not be immediately obvious to the layperson. Here is a guide to some of those listing descriptions:3

Cozy – Small
Quaint – Small and musty
Intimate – Tiny
Character – Needs work
Exceptional – Weird
One of a kind – Weirder
Only one owner – It’s old with no recent renovations
Private – Isolated
Charming – Old
Classic Elegance – Older
Luxurious – Formerly elegant
In town – noisy
Turn-key – only needs a little work
Recently renovated – Needs more work
Fixer upper – Needs a lot more work
Handyman special – You will need a lot more than one handyman
Tree lined street – Lots of raking and power outages
Sold “as is” – Get a really good inspector
Location, location, location – Good location, the house not so much
Conveniently located – On a busy intersection
Easy highway access – You can tell the highway volume without getting out of bed
Walking Distance – Maybe, but you will want to take a car
Lots of storage space – Unfinished basement
Pet friendly neighborhood – Wear shoes in the front yard
Friendly neighborhood – Snoopy neighbors
Need to see in person – Wish I’d had a better photographer  

Feel free to send us your favorite real estate phrase and we will add them!